A. 十万火急：急需一个英语剧本，适合五个人在课堂上演出的！谢谢啊 ！！！！！！！！！！
KJYHIWEYHIUTGJHIYTYTY
B. 求简单英语五人小品剧本，请看清下面的补充要求。在线等，挺急的。
搞笑英语微电影剧本《Whose treat》（英语5人搞笑微电影剧本）
演员：A—— ，B—— ，C—— ，D—— ，旁白——
编剧： 摄影：
后期制作：
插曲：场景一《铃儿响叮当》场景二《雪绒花》场景三《泰坦尼克号主题曲》场景四《flash》场景五《never say goodbye》或者《字母歌》
道具：一份报纸（最好是英文的），三份试卷（白纸即可），100元，64元找零，布娃娃
（场景一：未定空地____5个人都到， 拍摄）
旁白：One day ，some yang people want to get takeout as their dinner
一天，几个年轻人想叫外卖吃（直接录旁白，念完时候镜头落在四个人身上）
A: let’s get takeout ,please?（旁白念完直接开始）
B:why not? I like it .（开心，满足）
C:It's up to you .(看着A）
D:OK,but i have a good idea……(手托下巴，卖关子）
A：go on ，please（请求语气）
D：we always ”going Dutch “,.it‘s time to enjoy someone’s treat……我们总是AA制，这次找个人请客吧（扫一眼大家，继续卖关子）
C: but how should we drag the unfortunate? talk to us,please(请求）
D：(笑）OK，OK…….Each of us tell a joke, if not making others laugh, just pay ！
我们每人讲一个笑话，如果不能把其他人逗笑，就买单哦。（得意）
A,B,C:good idea!(大家拍手，异口同声）
A：Let me tell a joke first .the title is” I'm Glad “.A school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. 我先讲吧，题目是“我很高兴”。一个老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。现在，她说
（切到场景二，到一个教室，或有椅子的地方，把笑话表演出来，， 拍）
旁白：Now, she said现在，她说
赵雪：children ，has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？
王鹏：teacher, I've made someone glad yesterday.昨天我就使别人高兴过。
赵雪：Well done. Who was that?做得好，是谁呢？
王鹏：My granny.我奶奶。
赵雪：Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.好孩子，现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。
王鹏：Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I'm going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I'm glad’！是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊，我很高兴！’
（切回场景一，BCD哈哈大笑A见状很开心，）
A：oh, i got it !我做到了（很开心）
B：yeah，yeah, maybe you just tell your own story .(指着A说完捂嘴笑）
A: I……（要解释，被B拦下）
B：OK，now ,It's my turn .”a gentle reminder”is the title.Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. 婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。
(切换场景三，移至餐厅或有椅子的地方， 拍摄，）
B：On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, 在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：（录旁白形式）
双："Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"“亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗？”
B：Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said,他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我：
田："So, you want to switch seats?"“因此，你想交换座位吗？”
（切回场景一，ACD哈哈大笑中，）
B：so, i got it,(对C）maybe you will like the man in the future (笑）it‘s your turn
C: oh,no ,he is stupid (不屑）,my title is “girl,oh little girl”题目是“让人无奈的孩子”When they're together, my five-year-old daughter and her cousin tend to cause mayhem. (['meɪhem] )one Saturday, I put my foot down.我五岁的女儿和她的表妹在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。一个星期六，我开始抗议了。
（切至场景四，某空地， 拍摄）
： "All right, you two,"No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许扯淡，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。” （转身要走），
双：“come on ,MengMeng, let's get dirty . "“来， ，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”
（切回场景一，ABD哈哈笑）
B：OK,we three all did it ,now,(对D）only you left
D:i’m very afraid now,maybe I’ll fail it . Let me try .it’s “A dollar per point”一分一块钱A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.一天，教授正在给学生们监考。
（切场景五，至 教室， 拍摄）
D(旁白形式）：He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。（ 轩演教授， 坐中间， 演学生，考试时， 左顾右盼很着急，交卷子时， 左看看右看看掏出100元夹在卷子里并且写了一句话A dollar per point.）Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. "考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票，还有一张纸条写着：“一分一块钱。”The next class the professor handed the tests back out. And walk up to the student ，said，第二堂课，教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。走到那个 旁，
田：”here are your test and $64 change“这是你的试卷还有64块钱的找零。（邱大囧）
（切回场景一，ABC死憋住不笑，各种憋）
D:well,my treat(很无奈）OK，you win……i’ll buy it right now(走开）
（ABC终于放声大笑，落幕）
原网址 http://www.jiaoke.com/xiaopin/xiaopin_361488.html
C. 适合五个人配音的英语电影，最好简单一点的
五个人配音的电影包括：音乐之声。
《音乐之声》（The Sound of Music），由罗伯特·怀斯执导，朱丽·安德鲁斯、克里斯托弗·普卢默、理查德·海顿主演，于1965年上映。改编自玛利亚·冯·崔普（Maria von Trapp）的著作《崔普家庭演唱团》，最初以音乐剧的形式于百老汇上演。电影讲述了1938年，年轻的见习修女玛利亚到退役的海军上校特拉普家中做家庭教师，以童心对童心，让孩子们充分在大自然的美景中陶冶性情，上校也被她所感染。这时，德国纳粹吞并了奥地利，上校拒绝为纳粹服役，并且在一次民歌大赛中带领全家越过阿尔卑斯山，逃脱纳粹的魔掌[1] 。
影片上映后当年票房达到1.59亿美元，一举荣获第38届奥斯卡金像奖十项提名并获得最佳影片、最佳导演等五项大奖，写下了好莱坞影坛历史性的一页
22岁的玛利亚是一个萨尔茨堡修道院里的志愿修女，但是，她活泼
音乐之声电影剧照(20张)
好动和热爱自然的性格却总是让她在修道院里惹麻烦。修女院里的女院长（Mother Abbess）觉得她这样的活泼的性格不适合僧侣生活。于是，当她接到冯·特拉普上校家寻求家庭教师的请求，她决定让玛利亚去，也借此让她探索出真正的生活目的。
玛利亚到达冯·特拉普（Captain Georg Von Trapp）家，发现他是一个有七个孩子的鳏夫（这里指丧偶的男子），长期的海军生活和亡妻的悲伤使他对待孩子像管教士兵一样严格。很快，玛利亚就明白了以前那些家庭教师离开的原因，原来是孩子们得不到父亲的关爱，总是用捉弄教师来吸引父亲的注意。
上校要求玛利亚也像他一样严格，但是玛利亚没有听从，而是用她天生的温柔和善良赢得了孩子们的友好。趁上校不在的时候，她用窗帘给每个孩子缝制了休闲的服装，带领他们到花园水池游玩，在美丽的阿尔卑斯山上野餐，还教会了他们唱歌。孩子们原有的拘谨和忧郁渐渐地被音乐和笑声代替了。
不久上校回家了，还带回了孩子们喜欢的麦克叔叔（Uncle Max）和孩子们不甚喜欢的上校的女朋友埃尔莎·施瑞德男爵夫人（Baroness Elsa Schraeder）。上校对玛利亚的做法十分不满，可是当他听到孩子们为男爵夫人唱歌的时候十分感动，因为玛利亚把从他妻子去世之后家里就不再有的音乐又带了回来。玛利亚还和孩子们一起准备了一场木偶戏即孤独的牧羊人，上校为玛利亚可以感染他人的热情所吸引了。
几天之后，上校和男爵夫人一起举行了一场盛大的舞会，孩子们在舞会中也有歌唱表演。在舞会中，玛利亚给孩子们示范奥地利的民间舞蹈“涟恩德拉（又译：兰德勒）”（Laendler）。出乎意料的是，
音乐之声宣传海报(11张)
上校走过来和玛利亚共舞，舞蹈最后他们互视对方，他们之间的爱意一目了然。这些，都被男爵夫人看在眼内，当晚，她劝玛利亚回修道院。玛利亚恐怕自己对上校的感情会越陷越深，于是，她悄悄地离开了。
玛利亚走了之后，男爵夫人用尽办法讨孩子们的欢心都没有成效。当孩子们得知上校要和男爵夫人结婚的消息后，他们更加难过。他们到修道院找玛利亚却没能见到她。玛利亚向院长坦白了她对上校的爱情和对生活的不知所措，院长告诉她要鼓起勇气，哪怕翻越世界上的每一座山峰也要找到自己的真爱。于是，玛利亚回到冯·特拉普家里。 玛利亚回来之后，男爵夫人发现她已经无法挽回玛利亚和上校之间的感情，便主动退出了婚约，上校和玛利亚互诉衷肠，很快地，他们就结婚了。
可惜，他们的生活并没有从此就永远幸福快乐。当他们还在度蜜月的时候，德国纳粹占领了奥地利。连大女儿丽莎深爱的小伙子罗夫也成了纳粹下的一员。当他们赶回萨尔茨堡，发现到处已经是纳粹旗帜横行了。而上校和玛利亚不同意在自己家挂纳粹国旗，但当他们不在的时候，负责照顾孩子们的麦克叔叔帮他们注册参加了萨尔茨堡音乐节（Salzburg Festival）。上校一回到家里，就接到了纳粹发来的电报，要他立即到纳粹海军报道。一向痛恨纳粹的上校决定带领全家人离开奥地利。当他们晚上离开别墅的时候，被早就躲在门外监视他们的纳粹拦住了，于是上校解释说他们离开是为了参加希尔斯伯格节演出，并拿出节目单作为证据。在纳粹的陪同下，他们来到了会场，演出了孩子们准备好的歌曲。在这时，上校和玛利亚演唱了《雪绒花》，歌曲里对祖国奥地利的热爱之情浓郁深厚，不顾旁边持枪的纳粹守卫，在场的观众也跟着上校一起唱完了《雪绒花》。
演出之后，趁着颁奖的时候上校一家人借着音乐的掩护逃离演出现场，纳粹尾随一路追到修道院里，在修女们的帮助下，上校一家人藏在了墓碑后面，但被罗夫发现，并且漏了行踪，之后开车躲过纳粹的追踪，而纳粹的车却被修女们拔掉了电动机，不能发动追赶，然后他们翻过阿尔卑斯山，离开了奥地利。
D. 搞笑英语话剧剧本
搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the cold .
A man is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y与X相遇．
X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y:, Never mind baby.
X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?
Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?
X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!
X:No, I must kill you !
Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!
X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?
Y:please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks,
Y:Do you still want to kill me ?
X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X:I’m sure I won’t!
Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!
X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit
（一人路过，x起身跑过去）
X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .
Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y:byebye (以胜利者的语气，转头,看见 花满楼)
Y:Who are you?
H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” .
H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !
Y:You are right !
H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my king,he will give what you want.
Y:Yes,It’s very good.
H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!
第二幕：无间道
H:My dearest ! let me introce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.
K:sit down plese, yegucheng.
Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?
King:yes,I will.
Y:That’s good. Can you give me a MM ?
K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……
Y:of course.
美女出场
M:hello，帅锅..
K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual.
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?
Y: Yes,I do.
K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）
X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!
K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?
Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.
X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!
Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!
X:Forgive you? Why ?
Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!
X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”!
Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)
X:milk?I love you.
K:Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !
X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)
K:Fuck you. I must kill you!
X:How can you kill me? haha……
Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)
M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑到西门吹雪身边）
Y :do you want to go to wc?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.
M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !
K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?
M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue.
K惊讶: !you—you—You are X’lover?
Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell you,Xwill die.
M扑倒在X的身边：X,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning !
K:what a moving story ! I was impressed !
Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume !
(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，K吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)
Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停)
（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）
M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .
X:go home ! ?
M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.
X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go.
M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,
M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !
—来自于网络
E. 英语幽默短剧剧本 带翻译
Scene1（At Salesman’s home）：
N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!
S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……
Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)。
First, put the flour on the table.
Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)。
Now press, press……
Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)。
Press, press……
Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it!
Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……
Now let me cut it into pieces!
F. 急需一个大一英语课堂搞笑话剧剧本，5人
英语话剧剧本《傻子春天》一个讲述傻子好心有好报的故事。（第一幕）
场景：森林
（道具：椅子、草丛、树、鸭）
（道具：篮子、面包、胡萝卜、
玉米、斧头、笛子）
◎傻子坐在舞台上
※下音乐（森林狂想曲）
◎动物由两边後台进场
◎傻子和动物一起嬉戏
◎笛声音乐起时，精灵蹦蹦
跳跳进场
对白：
（人物：傻子、兔子、鹿、
鸟、精灵）
旁白：Long time ago, there's a idiot.
His name is Billy. He is too
stupid, so he doesn't have any
friends. He is always a lone,
but he likes to go to the forest.
There are many animals there.
One day, the idiot goes to forest.
字串2
There are birds, deers, rabbits
beside him.
Suddenly, There's a genius,Pook
jumped to him.
傻子：Hi ! The music is great.
Would you please to teaching
M me？【傻子作恳求状】
精灵：Ok! No problem.
But I am hungry now.【精灵作饥饿状】
傻子：Wait a minute! Here you are!【傻子拿出面包】
精灵：ㄣ~~ delicious!
Thank you ! My name is Pook.
Nice to meet you.【精灵作好吃及满足状】【精灵脱帽示好】
傻子：My name is Billy.
Nice to meet you.本文转自：www.coffbar.com小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影
精灵：Do you like it?
精灵：Come on follow me. I will show you something.◎精灵开始教傻子吹笛
傻子：This tree?
精灵：Yes! Go on! Go on!
傻子：Wow! What a lovely ck.
精灵：You can have it.
This is a gift for you.
傻子：Thank you very much.【傻子取出鸦後十分惊喜】
字串3
※下音乐（森林狂想曲）
◎傻子拿著提篮及鸦子、和
精灵、动物们快乐退场
（第二幕）
场景：皇宫
（道具：椅子、城墙、）
（道具：矛、搏浪鼓、医药箱
、听诊器）
◎公主坐在舞台上
◎国王走来走去手足无措状
◎公主面无表情、百般无聊
【国王非常惊慌焦急状】
对白
（人物：国王、皇后、公主、侍卫、
御医）国王：Smile! Please smile.国王：Oh my poor little girl.
Why do you never smile
What’s matter with you?
皇后：Please don’t worry my dear.
I have a good idea.
Where is the doctor?
国王：Oh yes! Doctor! Doctor!
Hurry up！Hurry up！
西御医：Your Majesty!
Princess is very well.中御医：I’m sorry. Maybe
she is just unhappy.国王：Get away and never
come here again.
皇后：No! I don’t believe.
What shall we do?
国王：All right! All right! 字串6
Don’t cry.
Anyway I will do my best.
◎国王对著天空宣誓
◎退场：
国王牵著皇后哭哭啼啼
公主冷漠
侍卫雄壮威武
第三幕）
场景：大街
（道具：菜篮、花篮、水果篮、
城墙、鸦、笛）※下音乐（土耳其进行曲）
◎大街人来人往热闹状
对白：
人物：（3个路人、侍卫、傻子、精灵）旁白：There are many people on this street,
is very noisy.侍卫：Pay attention please!
Pay attention please!
If anyone can make our princess
Laugh.
He can marry with her.
Our holy king will never regret!傻子：The princess is so beautiful.
She is my dream lover.
路人铮：Look him！
Such a dirty man.
He wants to married
Our princess.
路人雯：Don’t be silly.
It’s impossible.
傻子：Yes….they are right,
how can I get her?
It just a dream 字串9精灵：Don’t be sad my friend.
Trust me you can make it
路人潘：Oh the ck is so cute.
May I have a look?
Oh ~ The ck is stick on
my hands. I can’t put it down.
Somebody help me.
路人雯：Cool down! I’m coming!
路人铮：I’m coming! I’m coming!
第四幕）
场景：皇宫内外
道具：（鸦、笛、城墙）
※下音乐（森林狂想曲 ）
◎国王一行人站在城墙上
◎精灵领一排人上台
【公主忍不住大笑】
【皇后欣喜貌】
本文转自：www.coffbar.com小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影
对白：
人物：（3个路人、侍卫、傻子、精灵）
国王： Its noise what’s happening.
公主：It’s very funny
皇后：Look! she is laughing
My child is laughing
国王：Thanks God!
Take the man in.
侍卫：Yes my lord
国王：You made my daughter
happy.
What do you want? 字串3
I can give everything you
want
傻子：well……I think….I mean…….
If you don’t mind………
.
精灵：Please keep your words
皇后：Wait a minute !
No I disagree.
He is poor and stupid.
国王：Let me see.
公主：My dear father!
If you regret
Maybe I will never
Laugh in my whole life.
国王：Ok! ok! Please don’t do it
again. My sweet heart.
傻子：Would you married me?.
公主：Yes I do
精灵：It is wonderful.
I told you : trust me you
Can make it
旁白：So they got married.
谢幕:Evrey body....Thank you very much!!!
G. Hi guys 求一英语小剧本，6人表演剧情时间10分钟左右，以轻松搞笑为主，电视剧电影和小说的剧本随便，请发
搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
搞笑5人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：
西门吹雪
叶孤城
花满楼
打更的太监
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战乡村早唤陌路
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow.
Birds are dancing in the cold.
A man is walking along the street, step by step.
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches.
打更的太监：The weather is dry and things are flammable, take care not catch the fire! I’m 打酱油的！
Y与X相遇．
X：Ohm, I’升睁埋m sorry to knock you!
Y: Ha-ha, Never mind baby.
X: Excuse me, Could you tell me your name?
Y: ha ha, I won’t change my name! No matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng（登登登登！！！）. Who are you?
X: I’m ximenchuixue.
Y(惊讶): Ar, ximenchuixue?
X: Yes, what is wrong?
Y: I heard that you are the best Martial Arts?
X: Great, you know me!
Y(抱腿)：吵蚂Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!
X: No, I must kill you!
Y: I don’t want to be killed. Let me go!
X: No way! You know?
Y(突然站起冷冷的说)：Don’t force me!
X: Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X(抢过牛奶):Milk, very good! I like drinking it.
Y: Please drink it!
X(喝完牛奶):Thanks, ha-ha
Y: Do you still want to kill me?
X: Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good! Very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X: I’m sure I won’t!
Y: I must give you a lesson! If I don’t beat you this time, I’ll never be having properly! 3-2-1-0
X(捂着肚子，蹲下)：Ouch, Ouch!
Y(大笑)：Ha Ha……
X(可怜状): Help! Help! Where is the washroom?
Y: What?
X: Toliet?
Y: What?
X: The “WC”?
Y: Oh, I see, go along this street and turn right when you see a crossing road!
X: Thanks, bye-bye.
Y(掏出纸屑吹):This is genuine snow!
H: Stop! Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!
Y: Who are you?
H: Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y: Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” now, ha……
H(惊讶):Now you are the best in the world!
Y: You are right!
H: Teriffic! You are the one I’m looking for! Do you want to join in me?
Y: Yes, It’s very good.
H: Ok, follow me; let’s go!
Y: Ok, Let’s go!
(To be continued…)
H. 搞笑的英语短剧
送个两个 ，你自己选一个，第一个比较搞笑 ，第二个比较简单 你自己看着办 ，但愿有你喜欢的 ！
英语搞笑话剧《孔雀东南飞》
Wander severy five miles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue本文转自：www.coffbar.com小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:Everybody says that I'm henpecked,but in fact,I’m as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my wife is WuSong.
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you!
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’m afraid of whom?
My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me,
smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell(地狱)! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
MyGod!Who can help me?(下)
Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):I can!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Where are you?
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here!What’s up mum?
JM:I‘ve told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.
L:OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what’s up?
JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly.You have been so rude,so brusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Never interrupt me!
L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing.I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and cks and chicken and……
JM:But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,you want a grandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Go and ask your son.I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L:Mum,I’m back!
LM:You are back?Why?What happened?
L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!I have already told you!When you insisted on
marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen to me.Look at yourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Never interrupt me!
L:Mum,I’m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And
I’ll marry whom ever you want me to.
LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I met the mayor’s son in the market.He said:“If your daughter Haven‘t been married,I really really want to marry her!”Now you are free again,I’ll go and tell him.(下)
L(惊愕):What?The mayor’s son?The most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done (下)
Act3本文转自：
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch! Lunch !Where are my socks? (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下) Er!How smelly!They are still
dirty! (突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’m so hungry!But there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now
she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself.
JM(上):Where’s my breakfast?Where’s Lunch?Hasn’t she got up yet?
J:Mum,can’t you remember?Lunch has gone!
JM(沉吟刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nice
girl,go and take her back!
J(立正敬礼):Yes madam!
Act4
(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
A:Hey you!Stop and Listen to us!
The road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)
AB&C:Give us all your money!
J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is 1mao enough?
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A:What bad luck!This guy is broken!
B:If we can not rob any money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight!
C:I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lan next month.WE can go and rob the wedding!
A&B:Good idea!
J(惊讶):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It’s impossible!
AB&C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple!
J:But Lunch is my wife!We haven’t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)I’ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don’t you?I’ll go
with you.You take the money and I take the bride.
B:Have you got any experience?
J:No.But I’ve got this!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)
Act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(J和三强盗跃至台中)
ABC&J:Hey you!Stop and listen to us!
A:The road is built by me!
B:And I planted one tree.
C:If you want to go by this street---
J:Give us all your money!
(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)
L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)
J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向MS冲去）
(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)
(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,how are you?
L(哭状):I hurt a lot!
J:Don’t cry baby.I’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Wait for me! (跑下)
(音乐起 Can You Celebrate)
2、英语短剧：小兔子乖乖
时间：阳光明媚的星期天早晨
地点：鸟语花香的动物王国
人物：Little Duck，Miss Cat， Miss Rabbit，Mr Dog
旁白：Little Duck要去看望外婆。一路上他又唱又跳，高兴极了。在小河边，他碰到了Miss Cat。
Duck：（很好奇）Hello，Miss Cat．Whatre you doing？
Cat：（急得抓耳挠腮）Hello，Little Duck．Theres a big fish in the river．Im hungry，but I cant get it．
Duck：Dont worry．Let me help you．
（Little Duck跳进水里，一会儿就帮Miss Cat抓到了鱼。）
Duck：Here is the fish for you，Miss Cat．Have a good meal．
Cat：Thank you，Little Duck．You are so kind．
Duck：Thats all right，Miss Cat．I must go now．Im going to my grandmothers home．Bye-bye！
Cat：Bye-bye！
（Little Duck继续赶路。忽然他看到Miss Rabbit躺在草地上，连忙跑过去。）
Rabbit：（躺在草地上）Oh，Little Duck．I run too fast and my leg is broken．I cant stand up and I cant walk．
Duck：Dont worry．Let me help you．
（Little Duck拿出一条手帕帮Miss Rabbit包扎好伤口，然后扶着她回家。）
Duck：Dontworry，Miss Rabbit．Youll getwellsoon．
Rabbit：Yes，I will．Thank you，Little Duck．Its so kind of you．
Duck：Not at all，Miss Rabbit．But I must go now．Im going to my grandmothers home．Good-bye！
Rabbit：Good-bye！
（Little Duck唱着歌又开始上路了，走着走着，他看到Mr Dog坐在家门口，看上去非常着急。）
Duck：Good morning，Mr Dog．You look worried．What can I do for you？
Dog：Oh，good morning，Little Duck．I got a letter from my friend，Mr Cock．ButIcantread and Idontknow what he wants me to do．
Duck：Dont worry，Mr Dog．Let me help you．
（Mr Dog笑呵呵地把信递给Little Duck，Little Duck很仔细地将信的内容读给Mr Dog听。）
Dog：（满意地笑）Thank you，Little Duck．Its really very kind of you．
Duck：Youre welcome，Mr Dog．（抬头看看挂在半空中的太阳）But I must go now．Im going to see my grandmother．
Dog：（摸摸Little Duck的头）Dont worry，Little Duck．Let me send you to your grandmothers home．
Duck：Thank you，Mr Dog．
（Mr Dog驮着Little Duck一路欢歌笑语向外婆家跑去……）