A. 十萬火急：急需一個英語劇本，適合五個人在課堂上演出的！謝謝啊 ！！！！！！！！！！
KJYHIWEYHIUTGJHIYTYTY
B. 求簡單英語五人小品劇本，請看清下面的補充要求。在線等，挺急的。
搞笑英語微電影劇本《Whose treat》（英語5人搞笑微電影劇本）
演員：A—— ，B—— ，C—— ，D—— ，旁白——
編劇： 攝影：
後期製作：
插曲：場景一《鈴兒響叮當》場景二《雪絨花》場景三《泰坦尼克號主題曲》場景四《flash》場景五《never say goodbye》或者《字母歌》
道具：一份報紙（最好是英文的），三份試卷（白紙即可），100元，64元找零，布娃娃
（場景一：未定空地____5個人都到， 拍攝）
旁白：One day ，some yang people want to get takeout as their dinner
一天，幾個年輕人想叫外賣吃（直接錄旁白，念完時候鏡頭落在四個人身上）
A: let』s get takeout ,please?（旁白念完直接開始）
B:why not? I like it .（開心，滿足）
C:It's up to you .(看著A）
D:OK,but i have a good idea……(手托下巴，賣關子）
A：go on ，please（請求語氣）
D：we always 」going Dutch 「,.it『s time to enjoy someone』s treat……我們總是AA制，這次找個人請客吧（掃一眼大家，繼續賣關子）
C: but how should we drag the unfortunate? talk to us,please(請求）
D：(笑）OK，OK…….Each of us tell a joke, if not making others laugh, just pay ！
我們每人講一個笑話，如果不能把其他人逗笑，就買單哦。（得意）
A,B,C:good idea!(大家拍手，異口同聲）
A：Let me tell a joke first .the title is」 I'm Glad 「.A school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. 我先講吧，題目是「我很高興」。一個老師正在對學生講使別人高興的重要性。現在，她說
（切到場景二，到一個教室，或有椅子的地方，把笑話表演出來，， 拍）
旁白：Now, she said現在，她說
趙雪：children ，has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?你們當中有誰讓別人高興過？
王鵬：teacher, I've made someone glad yesterday.昨天我就使別人高興過。
趙雪：Well done. Who was that?做得好，是誰呢？
王鵬：My granny.我奶奶。
趙雪：Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.好孩子，現在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的。
王鵬：Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 『Granny, I'm going home,』 and she said, 『Well, I'm glad』！是這樣的，老師。我昨天去看她，在她那兒呆了三個小時。然後我跟她說：『奶奶，我要回家了。』她說：『啊，我很高興！』
（切回場景一，BCD哈哈大笑A見狀很開心，）
A：oh, i got it !我做到了（很開心）
B：yeah，yeah, maybe you just tell your own story .(指著A說完捂嘴笑）
A: I……（要解釋，被B攔下）
B：OK，now ,It's my turn .」a gentle reminder」is the title.Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. 婚後已久，我丈夫往往在一個特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。
(切換場景三，移至餐廳或有椅子的地方， 拍攝，）
B：On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, 在我們結婚35周年紀念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：（錄旁白形式）
雙："Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"「親愛的，你意識到我們在這兩個相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎？」
B：Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said,他放下報紙，眼睛直直地望著我：
田："So, you want to switch seats?"「因此，你想交換座位嗎？」
（切回場景一，ACD哈哈大笑中，）
B：so, i got it,(對C）maybe you will like the man in the future (笑）it『s your turn
C: oh,no ,he is stupid (不屑）,my title is 「girl,oh little girl」題目是「讓人無奈的孩子」When they're together, my five-year-old daughter and her cousin tend to cause mayhem. (['meɪhem] )one Saturday, I put my foot down.我五歲的女兒和她的表妹在一起的時候，總要招來大亂。一個星期六，我開始抗議了。
（切至場景四，某空地， 拍攝）
： "All right, you two,"No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."「好啦，你們兩個，」我嚴厲地說，「不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許扯淡，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。」 （轉身要走），
雙：「come on ,MengMeng, let's get dirty . "「來， ，我們來把自己弄臟吧。」
（切回場景一，ABD哈哈笑）
B：OK,we three all did it ,now,(對D）only you left
D:i』m very afraid now,maybe I』ll fail it . Let me try .it』s 「A dollar per point」一分一塊錢A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.一天，教授正在給學生們監考。
（切場景五，至 教室， 拍攝）
D(旁白形式）：He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.他發下試卷，然後回到講台前等待。（ 軒演教授， 坐中間， 演學生，考試時， 左顧右盼很著急，交卷子時， 左看看右看看掏出100元夾在卷子里並且寫了一句話A dollar per point.）Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. "考試結束了，學生們紛紛交回試卷The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."考試結束了，學生們紛紛交回試卷。教授發現一張試卷上別著一張百元鈔票，還有一張紙條寫著：「一分一塊錢。」The next class the professor handed the tests back out. And walk up to the student ，said，第二堂課，教授把試卷都發回學生們手中。走到那個 旁，
田：」here are your test and $64 change「這是你的試卷還有64塊錢的找零。（邱大囧）
（切回場景一，ABC死憋住不笑，各種憋）
D:well,my treat(很無奈）OK，you win……i』ll buy it right now(走開）
（ABC終於放聲大笑，落幕）
原網址 http://www.jiaoke.com/xiaopin/xiaopin_361488.html
C. 適合五個人配音的英語電影，最好簡單一點的
五個人配音的電影包括：音樂之聲。
《音樂之聲》（The Sound of Music），由羅伯特·懷斯執導，朱麗·安德魯斯、克里斯托弗·普盧默、理查德·海頓主演，於1965年上映。改編自瑪利亞·馮·崔普（Maria von Trapp）的著作《崔普家庭演唱團》，最初以音樂劇的形式於百老匯上演。電影講述了1938年，年輕的見習修女瑪利亞到退役的海軍上校特拉普家中做家庭教師，以童心對童心，讓孩子們充分在大自然的美景中陶冶性情，上校也被她所感染。這時，德國納粹吞並了奧地利，上校拒絕為納粹服役，並且在一次民歌大賽中帶領全家越過阿爾卑斯山，逃脫納粹的魔掌[1] 。
影片上映後當年票房達到1.59億美元，一舉榮獲第38屆奧斯卡金像獎十項提名並獲得最佳影片、最佳導演等五項大獎，寫下了好萊塢影壇歷史性的一頁
22歲的瑪利亞是一個薩爾茨堡修道院里的志願修女，但是，她活潑
音樂之聲電影劇照(20張)
好動和熱愛自然的性格卻總是讓她在修道院里惹麻煩。修女院里的女院長（Mother Abbess）覺得她這樣的活潑的性格不適合僧侶生活。於是，當她接到馮·特拉普上校家尋求家庭教師的請求，她決定讓瑪利亞去，也藉此讓她探索出真正的生活目的。
瑪利亞到達馮·特拉普（Captain Georg Von Trapp）家，發現他是一個有七個孩子的鰥夫（這里指喪偶的男子），長期的海軍生活和亡妻的悲傷使他對待孩子像管教士兵一樣嚴格。很快，瑪利亞就明白了以前那些家庭教師離開的原因，原來是孩子們得不到父親的關愛，總是用捉弄教師來吸引父親的注意。
上校要求瑪利亞也像他一樣嚴格，但是瑪利亞沒有聽從，而是用她天生的溫柔和善良贏得了孩子們的友好。趁上校不在的時候，她用窗簾給每個孩子縫制了休閑的服裝，帶領他們到花園水池遊玩，在美麗的阿爾卑斯山上野餐，還教會了他們唱歌。孩子們原有的拘謹和憂郁漸漸地被音樂和笑聲代替了。
不久上校回家了，還帶回了孩子們喜歡的麥克叔叔（Uncle Max）和孩子們不甚喜歡的上校的女朋友埃爾莎·施瑞德男爵夫人（Baroness Elsa Schraeder）。上校對瑪利亞的做法十分不滿，可是當他聽到孩子們為男爵夫人唱歌的時候十分感動，因為瑪利亞把從他妻子去世之後家裡就不再有的音樂又帶了回來。瑪利亞還和孩子們一起准備了一場木偶戲即孤獨的牧羊人，上校為瑪利亞可以感染他人的熱情所吸引了。
幾天之後，上校和男爵夫人一起舉行了一場盛大的舞會，孩子們在舞會中也有歌唱表演。在舞會中，瑪利亞給孩子們示範奧地利的民間舞蹈「漣恩德拉（又譯：蘭德勒）」（Laendler）。出乎意料的是，
音樂之聲宣傳海報(11張)
上校走過來和瑪利亞共舞，舞蹈最後他們互視對方，他們之間的愛意一目瞭然。這些，都被男爵夫人看在眼內，當晚，她勸瑪利亞回修道院。瑪利亞恐怕自己對上校的感情會越陷越深，於是，她悄悄地離開了。
瑪利亞走了之後，男爵夫人用盡辦法討孩子們的歡心都沒有成效。當孩子們得知上校要和男爵夫人結婚的消息後，他們更加難過。他們到修道院找瑪利亞卻沒能見到她。瑪利亞向院長坦白了她對上校的愛情和對生活的不知所措，院長告訴她要鼓起勇氣，哪怕翻越世界上的每一座山峰也要找到自己的真愛。於是，瑪利亞回到馮·特拉普家裡。 瑪利亞回來之後，男爵夫人發現她已經無法挽回瑪利亞和上校之間的感情，便主動退出了婚約，上校和瑪利亞互訴衷腸，很快地，他們就結婚了。
可惜，他們的生活並沒有從此就永遠幸福快樂。當他們還在度蜜月的時候，德國納粹佔領了奧地利。連大女兒麗莎深愛的小夥子羅夫也成了納粹下的一員。當他們趕回薩爾茨堡，發現到處已經是納粹旗幟橫行了。而上校和瑪利亞不同意在自己家掛納粹國旗，但當他們不在的時候，負責照顧孩子們的麥克叔叔幫他們注冊參加了薩爾茨堡音樂節（Salzburg Festival）。上校一回到家裡，就接到了納粹發來的電報，要他立即到納粹海軍報道。一向痛恨納粹的上校決定帶領全家人離開奧地利。當他們晚上離開別墅的時候，被早就躲在門外監視他們的納粹攔住了，於是上校解釋說他們離開是為了參加希爾斯伯格節演出，並拿出節目單作為證據。在納粹的陪同下，他們來到了會場，演出了孩子們准備好的歌曲。在這時，上校和瑪利亞演唱了《雪絨花》，歌曲里對祖國奧地利的熱愛之情濃郁深厚，不顧旁邊持槍的納粹守衛，在場的觀眾也跟著上校一起唱完了《雪絨花》。
演出之後，趁著頒獎的時候上校一家人借著音樂的掩護逃離演出現場，納粹尾隨一路追到修道院里，在修女們的幫助下，上校一家人藏在了墓碑後面，但被羅夫發現，並且漏了行蹤，之後開車躲過納粹的追蹤，而納粹的車卻被修女們拔掉了電動機，不能發動追趕，然後他們翻過阿爾卑斯山，離開了奧地利。
D. 搞笑英語話劇劇本
搞笑7人劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》
演員表：西門吹雪、葉孤城、花滿樓、king、路人、上官雪兒
旁白
道具：牛奶兩袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，紙屑若干。
第一幕：決戰紫荊城之顛
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the cold .
A man is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y與X相遇．
X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y:, Never mind baby.
X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?
Y:,I won』t change my name! no matter what happens. I』m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y驚訝:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?
X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don』t kill me! Let me go!
X:No, I must kill you !
Y:I don』t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!
X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?
Y突然站起冷冷的說：Don』t force me!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X搶過牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?
Y:please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks,
Y:Do you still want to kill me ?
X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(惱怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X:I』m sure I won』t!
Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don』t beat you this time, you』ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!
X捂著肚子，蹲下（做痛苦狀）：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit
（一人路過，x起身跑過去）
X可憐狀: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .
Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y:byebye (以勝利者的語氣，轉頭,看見 花滿樓)
Y:Who are you?
H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in 「WC」 .
H驚訝:Now you are the best in the world !
Y:You are right !
H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my king,he will give what you want.
Y:Yes,It』s very good.
H:Ok, follow me, Let』s go to see my king!
第二幕：無間道
H:My dearest ! let me introce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.
K:sit down plese, yegucheng.
Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?
King:yes,I will.
Y:That』s good. Can you give me a MM ?
K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……
Y:of course.
美女出場
M:hello，帥鍋..
K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let』s have a ritual.
H走到Y前，《婚禮進行曲》起，H神甫狀:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?
Y: Yes,I do.
K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音樂停）
X唱著上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!
K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?
Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.
X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!
Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!
X:Forgive you? Why ?
Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I』ll tell you 「 I love you 」 , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!
X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady』s 「WC」!
Y:I like going lady』s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)
X:milk?I love you.
K:Don』t say that 「you love me」. I』ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !
X:What? (側耳裝著聽不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)
K:Fuck you. I must kill you!
X:How can you kill me? haha……
Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂著肚子，蹲下)
M: oh,what happened?（看著X，做驚嚇狀）are you ok?（跑到西門吹雪身邊）
Y :do you want to go to wc?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.
M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !
K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?
M: actually,I』m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue.
K驚訝: !you—you—You are X』lover?
Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(輕聲說)let me tell you,Xwill die.
M撲倒在X的身邊：X,do』t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning !
K:what a moving story ! I was impressed !
Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn』t resume !
(M忽然將一把匕首插進Y的心臟，K嚇跑.音樂《再見，警察》起)
Y痛苦狀:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音樂停)
（X咳，H撲到身邊，電影《我的父親母親》原聲音樂起）
M: X , oh , no ,you can』t die ,we will go home together .
X:go home ! ?
M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.
X: promise me,you』ll get on well,and you』ll never let go.
M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,
M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !
—來自於網路
E. 英語幽默短劇劇本 帶翻譯
Scene1（At Salesman』s home）：
N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!
S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I』m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don』t know why. The foolish students always come here. I』ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……
Oops! It』s time to make candies now.(看錶)。
First, put the flour on the table.
Then, water, sugar, flour.(邊說邊做)。
Now press, press……
Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(滿不在意的神情)。
Press, press……
Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it!
Press, press, the children will not know it , it』s OK,hehehe……
Now let me cut it into pieces!
F. 急需一個大一英語課堂搞笑話劇劇本，5人
英語話劇劇本《傻子春天》一個講述傻子好心有好報的故事。（第一幕）
場景：森林
（道具：椅子、草叢、樹、鴨）
（道具：籃子、麵包、胡蘿卜、
玉米、斧頭、笛子）
◎傻子坐在舞台上
※下音樂（森林狂想曲）
◎動物由兩邊後台進場
◎傻子和動物一起嬉戲
◎笛聲音樂起時，精靈蹦蹦
跳跳進場
對白：
（人物：傻子、兔子、鹿、
鳥、精靈）
旁白：Long time ago, there's a idiot.
His name is Billy. He is too
stupid, so he doesn't have any
friends. He is always a lone,
but he likes to go to the forest.
There are many animals there.
One day, the idiot goes to forest.
字串2
There are birds, deers, rabbits
beside him.
Suddenly, There's a genius,Pook
jumped to him.
傻子：Hi ! The music is great.
Would you please to teaching
M me？【傻子作懇求狀】
精靈：Ok! No problem.
But I am hungry now.【精靈作飢餓狀】
傻子：Wait a minute! Here you are!【傻子拿出麵包】
精靈：ㄣ~~ delicious!
Thank you ! My name is Pook.
Nice to meet you.【精靈作好吃及滿足狀】【精靈脫帽示好】
傻子：My name is Billy.
Nice to meet you.本文轉自：www.coffbar.com小品劇本，簡歷封面，免費電影
精靈：Do you like it?
精靈：Come on follow me. I will show you something.◎精靈開始教傻子吹笛
傻子：This tree?
精靈：Yes! Go on! Go on!
傻子：Wow! What a lovely ck.
精靈：You can have it.
This is a gift for you.
傻子：Thank you very much.【傻子取出鴉後十分驚喜】
字串3
※下音樂（森林狂想曲）
◎傻子拿著提籃及鴉子、和
精靈、動物們快樂退場
（第二幕）
場景：皇宮
（道具：椅子、城牆、）
（道具：矛、搏浪鼓、醫葯箱
、聽診器）
◎公主坐在舞台上
◎國王走來走去手足無措狀
◎公主面無表情、百般無聊
【國王非常驚慌焦急狀】
對白
（人物：國王、皇後、公主、侍衛、
御醫）國王：Smile! Please smile.國王：Oh my poor little girl.
Why do you never smile
What』s matter with you?
皇後：Please don』t worry my dear.
I have a good idea.
Where is the doctor?
國王：Oh yes! Doctor! Doctor!
Hurry up！Hurry up！
西御醫：Your Majesty!
Princess is very well.中御醫：I』m sorry. Maybe
she is just unhappy.國王：Get away and never
come here again.
皇後：No! I don』t believe.
What shall we do?
國王：All right! All right! 字串6
Don』t cry.
Anyway I will do my best.
◎國王對著天空宣誓
◎退場：
國王牽著皇後哭哭啼啼
公主冷漠
侍衛雄壯威武
第三幕）
場景：大街
（道具：菜籃、花籃、水果籃、
城牆、鴉、笛）※下音樂（土耳其進行曲）
◎大街人來人往熱鬧狀
對白：
人物：（3個路人、侍衛、傻子、精靈）旁白：There are many people on this street,
is very noisy.侍衛：Pay attention please!
Pay attention please!
If anyone can make our princess
Laugh.
He can marry with her.
Our holy king will never regret!傻子：The princess is so beautiful.
She is my dream lover.
路人錚：Look him！
Such a dirty man.
He wants to married
Our princess.
路人雯：Don』t be silly.
It』s impossible.
傻子：Yes….they are right,
how can I get her?
It just a dream 字串9精靈：Don』t be sad my friend.
Trust me you can make it
路人潘：Oh the ck is so cute.
May I have a look?
Oh ~ The ck is stick on
my hands. I can』t put it down.
Somebody help me.
路人雯：Cool down! I』m coming!
路人錚：I』m coming! I』m coming!
第四幕）
場景：皇宮內外
道具：（鴉、笛、城牆）
※下音樂（森林狂想曲 ）
◎國王一行人站在城牆上
◎精靈領一排人上台
【公主忍不住大笑】
【皇後欣喜貌】
本文轉自：www.coffbar.com小品劇本，簡歷封面，免費電影
對白：
人物：（3個路人、侍衛、傻子、精靈）
國王： Its noise what』s happening.
公主：It』s very funny
皇後：Look! she is laughing
My child is laughing
國王：Thanks God!
Take the man in.
侍衛：Yes my lord
國王：You made my daughter
happy.
What do you want? 字串3
I can give everything you
want
傻子：well……I think….I mean…….
If you don』t mind………
.
精靈：Please keep your words
皇後：Wait a minute !
No I disagree.
He is poor and stupid.
國王：Let me see.
公主：My dear father!
If you regret
Maybe I will never
Laugh in my whole life.
國王：Ok! ok! Please don』t do it
again. My sweet heart.
傻子：Would you married me?.
公主：Yes I do
精靈：It is wonderful.
I told you : trust me you
Can make it
旁白：So they got married.
謝幕:Evrey body....Thank you very much!!!
G. Hi guys 求一英語小劇本，6人表演劇情時間10分鍾左右，以輕松搞笑為主，電視劇電影和小說的劇本隨便，請發
搞笑英語話劇劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》
搞笑5人劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》
演員表：
西門吹雪
葉孤城
花滿樓
打更的太監
旁白
道具：牛奶兩袋，紙屑若干。
第一幕：決戰鄉村早喚陌路
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow.
Birds are dancing in the cold.
A man is walking along the street, step by step.
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches.
打更的太監：The weather is dry and things are flammable, take care not catch the fire! I』m 打醬油的！
Y與X相遇．
X：Ohm, I』升睜埋m sorry to knock you!
Y: Ha-ha, Never mind baby.
X: Excuse me, Could you tell me your name?
Y: ha ha, I won』t change my name! No matter what happens. I』m the most famous——-YeGucheng（登登登登！！！）. Who are you?
X: I』m ximenchuixue.
Y(驚訝): Ar, ximenchuixue?
X: Yes, what is wrong?
Y: I heard that you are the best Martial Arts?
X: Great, you know me!
Y(抱腿)：吵螞Please, please…… Don』t kill me! Let me go!
X: No, I must kill you!
Y: I don』t want to be killed. Let me go!
X: No way! You know?
Y(突然站起冷冷的說)：Don』t force me!
X: Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X(搶過牛奶):Milk, very good! I like drinking it.
Y: Please drink it!
X(喝完牛奶):Thanks, ha-ha
Y: Do you still want to kill me?
X: Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(惱怒+冷酷):Very good! Very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X: I』m sure I won』t!
Y: I must give you a lesson! If I don』t beat you this time, I』ll never be having properly! 3-2-1-0
X(捂著肚子，蹲下)：Ouch, Ouch!
Y(大笑)：Ha Ha……
X(可憐狀): Help! Help! Where is the washroom?
Y: What?
X: Toliet?
Y: What?
X: The 「WC」?
Y: Oh, I see, go along this street and turn right when you see a crossing road!
X: Thanks, bye-bye.
Y(掏出紙屑吹):This is genuine snow!
H: Stop! Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!
Y: Who are you?
H: Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y: Yes, he was beaten by me and is in 「WC」 now, ha……
H(驚訝):Now you are the best in the world!
Y: You are right!
H: Teriffic! You are the one I』m looking for! Do you want to join in me?
Y: Yes, It』s very good.
H: Ok, follow me; let』s go!
Y: Ok, Let』s go!
(To be continued…)
H. 搞笑的英語短劇
送個兩個 ，你自己選一個，第一個比較搞笑 ，第二個比較簡單 你自己看著辦 ，但願有你喜歡的 ！
英語搞笑話劇《孔雀東南飛》
Wander severy five miles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny』smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch』smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor』sson(MSforshort)強盜Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue本文轉自：www.coffbar.com小品劇本，簡歷封面，免費電影
(J作被打狀跑上台,內砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)
J:Everybody says that I'm henpecked,but in fact,I』m as strong as a tiger,(小聲)while my wife is WuSong.
(指著上台處的門大聲道)I』m not afraid of you!
(內砸出一臉盆,J接住當成盾牌護著頭)Then,I』m afraid of whom?
My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me,
smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell(地獄)! (內又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)
MyGod!Who can help me?(下)
Act1
(序幕結束時,JM作竊聽狀)
JM(拄拐棍上):I can!
(對門內)Lunch!Lunch!Where are you?
L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):I』m here!What』s up mum?
JM:I『ve told you again and again that you should call me「my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law」.
L:OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what』s up?
JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly.You have been so rude,so brusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Never interrupt me!
L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing.I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and cks and chicken and……
JM:But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!
L(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):Oh,you want a grandson,don』tyou?(開始解圍裙)Go and ask your son.I』m leaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛線,L拿著鍋鏟上)
L:Mum,I』m back!
LM:You are back?Why?What happened?
L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
LM(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):See!I have already told you!When you insisted on
marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen to me.Look at yourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Never interrupt me!
L:Mum,I』m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And
I』ll marry whom ever you want me to.
LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I met the mayor』s son in the market.He said:「If your daughter Haven『t been married,I really really want to marry her!」Now you are free again,I』ll go and tell him.(下)
L(驚愕):What?The mayor』s son?The most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的鍋鏟掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done (下)
Act3本文轉自：
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(邊走邊道):Lunch! Lunch !Where are my socks? (走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)Here they are!(聞一下) Er!How smelly!They are still
dirty! (突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)Oh,I』m so hungry!But there』s no breakfast!(撿起地上的圍 裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now
she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself.
JM(上):Where』s my breakfast?Where』s Lunch?Hasn』t she got up yet?
J:Mum,can』t you remember?Lunch has gone!
JM(沉吟刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nice
girl,go and take her back!
J(立正敬禮):Yes madam!
Act4
(J開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個強盜)
A:Hey you!Stop and Listen to us!
The road is built by me!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)
B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)
C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了A的腳)
AB&C:Give us all your money!
J(搜遍了每一個口袋，掏出1角硬幣):Is 1mao enough?
(三強盜暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)
A:What bad luck!This guy is broken!
B:If we can not rob any money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight!
C:I heard that the mayor』s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lan next month.WE can go and rob the wedding!
A&B:Good idea!
J(驚訝):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It』s impossible!
AB&C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple!
J:But Lunch is my wife!We haven』t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)I』ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don』t you?I』ll go
with you.You take the money and I take the bride.
B:Have you got any experience?
J:No.But I』ve got this!(J脫下鞋子從裡面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)
Act5
(轉眼已到了婚禮之期．MS意氣風發用紅綢牽著新娘上，J蓋著紅蓋頭極不情願地被拉上台)
(J和三強盜躍至台中)
ABC&J:Hey you!Stop and listen to us!
A:The road is built by me!
B:And I planted one tree.
C:If you want to go by this street---
J:Give us all your money!
(L聽到J的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)
L(驚喜萬分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到J的身邊並躲到了的身後)
(MS大怒，揮拳向J打來．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身後的L，L暈倒)
J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向MS沖去）
(J與MS混戰，JM上，以拐杖擊暈MS)
(J將MS胸前的新郎標志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，關切地問):Honey,how are you?
L(哭狀):I hurt a lot!
J:Don』t cry baby.I』ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Wait for me! (跑下)
(音樂起 Can You Celebrate)
2、英語短劇：小兔子乖乖
時間：陽光明媚的星期天早晨
地點：鳥語花香的動物王國
人物：Little Duck，Miss Cat， Miss Rabbit，Mr Dog
旁白：Little Duck要去看望外婆。一路上他又唱又跳，高興極了。在小河邊，他碰到了Miss Cat。
Duck：（很好奇）Hello，Miss Cat．Whatre you doing？
Cat：（急得抓耳撓腮）Hello，Little Duck．Theres a big fish in the river．Im hungry，but I cant get it．
Duck：Dont worry．Let me help you．
（Little Duck跳進水裡，一會兒就幫Miss Cat抓到了魚。）
Duck：Here is the fish for you，Miss Cat．Have a good meal．
Cat：Thank you，Little Duck．You are so kind．
Duck：Thats all right，Miss Cat．I must go now．Im going to my grandmothers home．Bye-bye！
Cat：Bye-bye！
（Little Duck繼續趕路。忽然他看到Miss Rabbit躺在草地上，連忙跑過去。）
Rabbit：（躺在草地上）Oh，Little Duck．I run too fast and my leg is broken．I cant stand up and I cant walk．
Duck：Dont worry．Let me help you．
（Little Duck拿出一條手帕幫Miss Rabbit包紮好傷口，然後扶著她回家。）
Duck：Dontworry，Miss Rabbit．Youll getwellsoon．
Rabbit：Yes，I will．Thank you，Little Duck．Its so kind of you．
Duck：Not at all，Miss Rabbit．But I must go now．Im going to my grandmothers home．Good-bye！
Rabbit：Good-bye！
（Little Duck唱著歌又開始上路了，走著走著，他看到Mr Dog坐在家門口，看上去非常著急。）
Duck：Good morning，Mr Dog．You look worried．What can I do for you？
Dog：Oh，good morning，Little Duck．I got a letter from my friend，Mr Cock．ButIcantread and Idontknow what he wants me to do．
Duck：Dont worry，Mr Dog．Let me help you．
（Mr Dog笑呵呵地把信遞給Little Duck，Little Duck很仔細地將信的內容讀給Mr Dog聽。）
Dog：（滿意地笑）Thank you，Little Duck．Its really very kind of you．
Duck：Youre welcome，Mr Dog．（抬頭看看掛在半空中的太陽）But I must go now．Im going to see my grandmother．
Dog：（摸摸Little Duck的頭）Dont worry，Little Duck．Let me send you to your grandmothers home．
Duck：Thank you，Mr Dog．
（Mr Dog馱著Little Duck一路歡歌笑語向外婆家跑去……）